Tao to be a Messianic 2

So the ugly baby grew up really ugly, my mother was very convinced that she did a very good job to name me as Irene, instead of Meiling that carries the letter of "beauty".

the picture is from my book "Dragon DenDera and Two right hands."
Rei Munakata's book

As a kid, I was suffering from atopic dermatitis.
Tumor on the head wasn't an issue.  I grew big, but the tumor remained in its original size.  Now I still have a mark of it on my head.  Hair doesn't grow on that spot, but I am a female.  I can grow my hair long and cover the mark.
But atopic dermatitis was a great issue for me.
My morning starts with peeling my pajamas off from my skin.
Other kids called me "bacteria" because of the ugliness of the skin.
Bullied, of course.  None wanted to touch me.
For long long time, I struggled because of my ugliness.
None liked me.  I had no friends.

My mother encouraged me to go to church.
She is now a Buddhist.  At that time she used Christianity for the education.  She wanted me to be able to speak English and hoping that I would study abroad.  She thought it would be better for me to know of Christianity because that is the base of the European culture.
I read Bible since I was 5.  Thinking about that, I wasn't a stupid child but at that time, I had zero self confidence.  Everyone made me believe I am the worst failure of the nature.

At the age of 11.  Other girls started talking about boys.  Who is more handsome or prettier and who is crushed on whom....
I was of course, out of any lists.

I wanted to kill myself.

I wanted to end my misery.  I prayed as I was taught in the church and also because I had experienced the deliberation of Holy Spirit when I was 8.  I shall write about it in my next article. Anyway, I prayed to Jesus. (now I never call Him Jesus)
"Lord, please make me pretty.  I will be content if you make me half pretty as much as my mom or please let me die.  I do not want to be beaten or despised anymore."
I don't forget that it was November 24th night.
The next morning... came.  I woke up with a desperation because He didn't take my life.  I started my daily custom of peeling off pajamas.  But it was different.  I didn't have to peel off.
I just naturally took off my pajama.  I still had dermatitis but something was different.  Since that day, my dermatitis began to be cured.

My life was dramatically improved from that day.  In two years from that day, my dermatitis was cured completely.
It was cured as dramatic as I started modeling 10 years later.
It didn't take more than one year for me to realize that my look is not so bad.
This is how I look now...

And this is how I looked two moth after delivering my son.  That is 8 years ago.

Miracle is natural....
Everything is planned by ELOHIM and designed so precisely as it should be.
I think what happened when I was 11 was nothing but His call.
But I was too young to notice.
I failed to stay with Him.

by the time I went to a Christian high school, I realized that I could always be one of the prettiest and what is more, ELOHIM prepared me also with intelligence.
I was significant in my school, first because of my English.  I was always one of the top students of the school also in the study.
ELOHIM gave English to me as "tongue" but He never stopped giving me new languages ever since.
Now I speak 7 languages.
And yet, I failed to stay with Him.  Because I believed that I myself earned it with my own ability.  I believed (so stupidly) that it is matter of course, that I grew pretty because my mother is so beautiful.  I took everything for granted and I praised and admired my own self.
I cannot believe I had forgotten the days of misery so easily.
But it was a trap of Saturn to put me in the worse misery.
How easily I fell, in the hand of Saturn.


Tao to be a Messianic 1.
Tao to be a Messianic 3